Welcome to the dark underbelly of Queen’s University.
[A coffee house filled with couches. EVE, a university-aged girl in a large leather parka sits on a couch, writing in a notebook. A crossword lies on the floor by her feet. Next to her, a friend (WILL) reads a textbook. Enter THE REV and a MYSTERIOUS STRANGER.]
The Rev: Hey, Eve, I didn’t see you there. How are you? This is Eric, he’s a friend of mine.
Eve: Hey, Rev. Nice to meet you, Eric. Will, Rev, Eric, Will.
[MYSTERIOUS STRANGER nods. WILL nods.]
The Rev: What are you doing, homework?
Eve: [winces.] Trying.
The Rev: I see.
[The two make small talk. WILL and the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER sit in silence.]
The Rev: If you’ll excuse me, I came here to discuss something with this man here. I’ll let you get back to your work, okay?
Eve: No problem.
[THE REV and the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER begin an animated but secretive conversation. EVE returns to her work. WILL turns the page in his textbook.]
Mysterious Stranger: [incomprehensible mumbling]
The Rev: [incomprehensible mumbling]
Mysterious Stranger: [incomprehensible mumbling] …lesbians?
The Rev: Is that viable?
[EVE looks up, raising an eyebrow. THE REV and the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER continue their incomprehensible mumbling, gradually shuffling their couches closer together and bending their heads down until their torsos are almost horizontal. After a lengthy period of time, MYSTERIOUS STRANGER departs.]
The Rev: Sorry about that. We were settling a business contract.
Eve: Business contract.
The Rev: Indeed. An internet company he’s putting together. It’s a bit secretive; he’s somewhat nervous about it so I can’t tell you more.
Eve: Oh, that’s perfectly understandable. Internet porn?
[WILL looks up, raising an eyebrow.]
The Rev: [pauses.] Yes.