Greeting in Advance
Happy New Year, everyone!
My knitting blog is now located at the Needle Exchange!
Blogging is good as buying
So when we were shopping yesterday, we came upon a giant table full of hilarious ten dollar shirts. One hilariously said “PARTY TIME!,” another “BLING BLING.” There were a few other shirts which I appreciated: a shirt which spelled out “TOUGH” in the font commonly reserved for M*A*S*H that used rhinestones as asterisks (this would be worn for irony only, of course), but it had that crazy bunching deal that non-tough shirts have on the sides which I figured would have been uncomfortable. I opted to keep my distance, instead focusing on a shirt which said “SUPERFLY” and featured a classic car. My favourite shirt, however, the one that said “DY-NO-MITE!,” is the one I wish to discuss.
You see, it is hilarious because it references an old television program. There is also a second level of hilarity introduced by the fact that Johny Popalis always used to say “Dynomite.” He didn’t so much resemble Jimmie “JJ” Walker as he did Bowser from Sha-Na-Na, but that’s neither here nor there.
At first I only came upon a large version of the shirt, which was unacceptable. Then I found a medium, which usually fits me, but I was too lazy to try it on. Having to locate the medium with extreme prejudice caused me to become bored with the shirt, and I decided not to buy it because blogging the shirt would be just as good as wearing it once, and wearing it once for hilarity was all I had intended. I didn’t want to become “the girl who constantly wears that ridiculous DYNOMITE! shirt,” after all.
So blogging saved me ten dollars yesterday. This will be used instantly against my parents.
Shake it like a polaroid picture
So I just got back from a hilarious shopping trip with Shashorama and DJ Steph. Brilliant, as all wacky posse excursions are. We were in the Office Place for half a second and suddenly “Hey Ya!” started playing over the speakers, forcing me to rock out with much wackiness and dancing. The clerks tittered, abashed, and Shashi was suddenly confused, as she’d never heard the song.
“Never??” I exclaimed. Soon as we arrived at my home, I pulled them to my computer so they could hear the mp3 I had ripped from my friend’s copy of The Love Below. As it blasted over the speakers, I observed Shashi looking around the room, at the walls, the ceiling, the shelves of books, the bed piled high with papers and the bling stereo.
“So this is where you blog from,” she stated. Her voice was filled with quiet awe, as if she was a small crippled child visiting the cockpit of an airplane.
I couldn’t stop laughing.
(Aside: Check it out, I managed to fantastically make a screenshot of Benjamin Andre from the music video I stole from the INTERNET. Wait a second… Benjamin Andre? B. Andre? Shashi, are you thinking what I’m thinking? Oh, Brandon.)
Where is Appleton, anyway?
I recently bought a Strawberry Kiwi Comet lipsmacker, and its scent is so artificial I’m taken aback upon each individual experience. I feel cheap whenever I apply it, which is something every girl needs every once in a while. It’s like a one night stand, all wrapped up in a pink sparkly tube.
This is why I don’t like uniforms.
Aside from Gold Band uniforms, of course. Phew! I almost alienated Shashi there.
Don’t you love the guy on the left? He’s like, “Dude! Check out my duds, I’m fucking Liberace here! Bring on the slutz!” Whereas the guy on the left in this picture looks like he’s saying, “You like radishes? I’ll fucking eat your brains. Yeah. Fucking gangsta.”
Thanks to maliszew for the frightening link. He/ she left a comment on Rev’s post about communism, with this quote: “Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, the reverse is true.”
That’s great.
Gogolicious
The style is very jerky. You can see that it’s not written by a man. She starts off alright and then lapses into dogginess.- Ferdinand VIII
Rev, you were right. Gogol is hilarious! I read The Diary Of A Madman in Kingston, and it was marvelously entertaining. He’s like the original blogger! Skipping from point to point, being random, lusting after his boss’s daughter… Like The Swamp, only he says “what a rogue I am” slightly more often. Never mind… Never mind… Silence!
I’ve just gotten to The Overcoat and it is even more brilliant. Every page, I come across something I want to blog. I’m considering setting up a sidebar with the latest in brilliant passages I’m reading. It will be great!