Some more notes
- The hand is fine, aside from some temporarily reptilian skin to remind me not to pour boiling water on myself. These reminders are needed sometimes.
- Children of Bodom is really good.
- I know this sounds shallow and awful, but sometimes I really wish that my family was the sort to give Christmas money instead of Christmas decorative cooking thermometers. Seriously, guys, my trousseau is the size of a chateau. There is no need to buy me that porcelain soap dish that doesn’t match any of the other bathroom pieces I have received for the past 20 years. I can buy one for 2 dollars at Ikea. And no, you don’t need to put that 13-piece stainless steel “Jesus and his Apostles” cutlery set on layaway for when I finally get hitched and need 11 extra pieces of silverware for no apparent reason (aside from my swinging high-roller lifestyle and distaste for doing dishes). When it comes time for matrimony, I’ll get my cooking utensils just like everyone else by stealing them from Leonard cafeteria.
More on the subject of gifting: If you think a relative will be happier with money than with a forced gift that only serves to illustrate how badly you know them, why not give the money and make them happy? Then they don’t have to force a smile when they unwrap their new inflatable Corey Feldman desktop monitor frame.
Actually, come to think of it, that would be the best present ever. A gift is always better if it’s inflatable.
EDIT, 9:48 AM, Dec 30: So I feel really bad for making the above comments in the wake of all these tsunami attacks in the Asia, and I want to thank all my relatives for giving me useful things, and I want to send out condolences to all those who lost relatives or homes or lives in the past week. To complain about money when so many others have so few and have lost so much is a pretty bullshit thing to do. I honestly appreciate the intentions of my relatives; they wanted to give me something I’d like, but also something I could use. I remember complaining a few years back the exact opposite of what I’m complaining now; that certain gifts I received (smelly candles, figurines, etc) were pretty, but useless. So now I am positive about my growing trousseau. A larger dowry means I won’t have to pledge as many sheep to the groom’s family when my marriage is finally arranged. Thanks, guys.