My knitting blog is now located at the Needle Exchange!
Published here.
It was a television series that changed a thousand worlds, and (for some Jerry O’Connell-crazed young girls) a thousand pants. It was the SciFi series of an entire two-year generation. It got crappy after the first season, once they couldn’t think of a new dimension that didn’t involve speaking a different language or eating worms.
Published here.
Clean up your own mess — Don’t hit people unless they ask you to — Wash your hands before you eat — Always come on time — The safety word is “artichoke” — Flush — If it doesn’t taste good, pretend you’ve swallowed it and then spit it into a napkin — Always take time out to nap — Always use a #2 pencil — Two’s company, three’s a crowd, four’s a party — A picture is worth a thousand words — An incriminating picture is worth a thousand dollars — If you forget someone’s name, just wait for someone else to moan it — Always wait your turn — The guy always pays — Try a new thing every day — Point away from face — Share and share alike, but nothing bacterial — Always wear clean underwear — Keep your hands above the table — If it’s cold outside, wear a hat and maybe some pants — Never run with scissors if you’re not wearing pants — Say “please” — Give nine months for delivery — Location, location, location — Early to bed, early to rise — Never have sex in a graveyard — Knock before you enter — Stick to your buddy — If it gets in your eye, flush with water for two minutes — Change your oil every 300,000 km — Lather, rinse, repeat — Good friends stick together — Really good friends towel each other off — Aim for the stomach — Don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes — Always clear your cache after reading Internet porn — Always lock your door before “going to the bathroom,” because seriously dude, we’re really tired of walking in on you
Published here.
Stevie Wonder: “It’s okay if your clothes get dirty, because no one will notice.”
Tara Reid: “Shrunken tube tops can be reused as skirts.”
Che Guevara: “The REAL revolution is Vintage Tees!”
Paul Martin: “I think pants should have flies on the back, too.”
Stephen Hawking: “A brief history of fashion: Capes are IN!”
Gillian Anderson: “I’ve been wearing a lot of sweatpants, lately.”
Kiefer Sutherland: “My grandfather invented healthcare.”
Punching the blind: How to do it, get away with it, and look fabulous
By Batman
Also, there was a thing about Hand-Me-Downs Syndrome.
Published here.
Published here.
So your girlfriend finally sat you down and told you the truth (or sent you a not-so-subtle pizza-gram). That extra bit of belly wasn’t because of her low metabolism. Her weird eating habits weren’t because of all the weed she was smoking (well, not entirely, anyway). No, your girl is pregnant. Unlike your bad history marks and the UN sanctions and the dead hookers, this is something that you can’t make go away with Daddy’s money. No, buddy, I’ve gotta level with ya. You’re fucked. But just in case you think you can take a wild stab at saving yourself, here are a couple of suggestions to help you get out of trouble (without stabbing wildly).