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Wikipes

January 31st, 2005 at 2:46 am (Nerdz0r3d, Asides)

http://wikipes.com/

I got a head start on my latest CISC 260 Assignment.

January 30th, 2005 at 10:08 am (Hilarity)

isBukkake :: Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Man -> Semen

isBukkake = 8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
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            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~ O-:
            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~
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            8=======D ~~~~~~~~~~~

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Too Hot For GW! (with Butterfinger McFlurry)

January 30th, 2005 at 10:01 am (Golden Words, Lists)

Punching the blind: How to do it, get away with it, and look fabulous
By Batman

Wear a cape.
Punch a blind person.
Stand behind them.

Also, there was a thing about Hand-Me-Downs Syndrome.

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Perry Bible Fellowship Comics!

January 28th, 2005 at 12:28 pm (Arts & Culture, Asides)

http://cheston.com/pbf/archive.html

Read the rest »

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Le Mus�e du Bizarre

January 28th, 2005 at 10:01 am (Arts & Culture, Asides)

http://g.courtial.free.fr/bizar1.htm

Read the rest »

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Why Tyrannosaurs weren’t great boxers.

January 27th, 2005 at 9:07 am (Random)

I swear I found this while working on my essay. My essay involves dinosaurs.

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GW Confessions: Beyond the Words

January 26th, 2005 at 10:23 am (Golden Words, Long Texty Articles)

Published here.

Confessions “Michael J. Fox has a restraining order against me.”
Jason L, Contributing Writer

It’s not my fault. I just really liked Teen Wolf. My mistake was to fall in love with the Teen Wolf. It got to the point where it was physically painful to be without Michael J. Fox (or Scott Howard as he preferred to be called in the movie). When I discovered that Teen Wolf had a sequel, I nearly died of happiness. How excited I was to see my beloved Michael J. in his lycanthropic return to the big screen! But when I saw the movie, I was appalled! Who was this Jason Bateman clown, and what had he done with Michael? I couldn’t bear the thought that my beloved wolf had been replaced in that awful lie of a sequel, so I decided to remind my hero of the good old days. I dug up my old dog, Fido (who’d died shortly after I saw the vile Teen Wolf Too), cut the skin from his body, and hot glued his shiny coat to my face and hands. I snuck into Scott’s home with my tools and Fido’s skin and found Scott sleeping in his bedroom. “Scott! It’s time for you to become what you were always meant to be!” I cried, before passing out from the blood loss and pain of melting my skin with searing polyethylene. Since then, our relationship was never the same.

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Confessions “I sold my grandmother on eBay.”
Tammy M, Copy Editor

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I put her up for auction on eBay, but nobody bid on her. I should have made her look better in the description, I guess, or at least left out my complaint about how she’s always pissing in my sink. Yeah, I don’t know how she does it, either.

Confessions “I was once caught masturbating in Tindall Field.”
Paddy S, First-Time Graphics Monkey

Remember all those stories about the “Tindall Field Masturbator”? He was a guy who was caught masturbating in the middle of Tindall Field. I just want to clarify that I’m not that guy. Mine was more of a copy-cat crime. I wanted to take advantage of the popularity that people who were caught masturbating in a public place were getting, but I ended up being caught during the tail end of the craze, after it stopped being so glamorous to be caught in a public place performing deviant sexual acts. I learned then that the most important thing about fame is timing.

Confessions “The last time I did PCP, I bit the heads off all my sister’s Barbie dolls.”
Liz A, Graphics Editor

Seriously, I bit them right the fuck off. When I was done, there was nothing left of them but broken torsos and little miniature Gucci bags soaked in my sister’s tears.

Confessions “I started the Macarena dance craze.”
Richard K, Editor

We were at this party, and this vaguely Latin house music started playing. I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly started grabbing myself and waving my hips and jumping in 90 degree angles, all in perfect rhythm with the music. It was beautiful. It felt as if the smooth, non-threatening Spanish vocals were speaking directly to me. I felt free and alive. It was like my waving arms were an extension of my own body. Within minutes, the whole club was grooving right along with me. The Macarena was born.

Confessions “I Photoshop naked pictures of myself into the backgrounds of GW graphics.”
Alex L, Assistant Graphics Editor

Sometimes they’re subtle, and sometimes they’re explicit. I’ll slip in a hint of nipple where nobody would think to look. I’ll put a watermark of my butt on a photo of George Bush, or throw a testicle in with a barrel of onions. It’s amazing what people don’t notice unless they’re looking for something. You don’t see it, but it’s there.

Confessions “I can’t get an erection unless my penis is covered in salsa.”
Imran Z, Contributing Writer

Maybe it’s the tingly feeling I get from a particularly spicy brand of salsa, or maybe it’s how delightfully colourful it is against my pale genitalia. Perhaps it’s the rush I get from scooping a juicy tomato off my penis with a delicately curvaceous corn chip, I don’t know. But I can’t get off without a big jar of Old El Paso at my bed side. I don’t use chunky salsa, though. I’m not some kind of sicko.

Confessions “I breed squid for combat.”
Les B, Layout Editor

The thing about squid is that they’re not natural fighters. The trick to raising really ferocious squid is beating them regularly, preferably with something electric. They hate that. Get them angry enough, and they’ll fuck up anything that moves. It’s true what they say: in the squid wrangling biz, the cruelest bastard wins. It’s squid-eat-squid out there.

Confessions “I have given/received oral sex in every major building on campus.”
Michelle R, Layout Monkey

Oh yeah.

Confessions “I don’t turn the light off when I leave the room.”
Jon T, Staff Writer

I don’t have any respect for energy conservation. What can I say? Fuck trees. Fuck whales, too. David Suzuki can kiss my ass, I’ll turn my lights on and off when I goddamn well please. I paid for these bulbs, and I pay for the power to light them, so who has the balls to tell me when I can and can’t waste energy? No one, that’s who. If I want to leave a room in my house and can’t be bothered to flip the switch, it’s my own business because it’s my own money that’s paying for it. If a bunch of pandas want to cry about it, let ‘em. But I’m not cryin’. I’m laughin’. Fuck you, pandas.

Confessions “I stole Freddie Prinze Jr.’s identity.”
Eve F, Staff Writer & Hollywood Insider

I’m getting kinda tired of sleeping with Sarah Michelle Gellar.

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